How Social Anxiety Affects Dating and Relationships

How Social Anxiety Affects Dating and Relationships Social Anxiety Disorder Work and School Print How Social Anxiety Affects Dating and Intimate Relationships By Arlin Cuncic Arlin Cuncic, MA, is the author of Therapy in Focus: What to Expect from CBT for Social Anxiety Disorder and 7 Weeks to Reduce Anxiety. Learn about our editorial policy Arlin Cuncic Updated on June 24, 2019 Social Anxiety Disorder Overview Symptoms & Diagnosis Causes Treatment Living With In Children Vetta/Avid Creative, Inc / Getty Images Social anxiety disorder (SAD) is a common psychological disorder and it can affect dating and intimate relationships in many different ways.?? Here we discuss recent research on the topic of dating and relationships when you have social anxiety disorder, as well as ways to help your dating and relationship anxiety. Dating Aggression   In a study of adolescents, fear of negative evaluation (FNE), one aspect of social anxiety in which youre afraid of being perceived negatively, was found to significantly predict male dating aggression.?? Dating aggression includes physical aggression (slapping, use of a weapon, forced sex) and psychological aggression (slamming doors, insulting, or refusing to talk to a partner). Its thought that in this case, the fight or flight response may reflect this aggressive tendency.?? Online Dating   Social anxiety can make online relationships and communication seem much more doable, but use caution.?? A recent study showed that people with SAD have a tendency to think of internet relationships as easier, safer, and better controlled than in-person relationships. This thinking can lead to excessive internet use and a tendency to avoid face-to-face situations, which, if you have SAD, you know is already difficult. However, online dating can be a great way to meet people and get to know them through messaging, texting, or email before you meet them in person. Where to Meet People When You Have Dating Anxiety Romantic Relationships Unfortunately, SAD can take a toll on your ability to  establish, develop, and maintain romantic relationships. Part of this is likely because its difficult to let your guard down and feel vulnerable, even with someone you love and trust. The higher your anxiety, the more difficult emotional intimacy may be because you may see it as too risky.?? Managing Relationships With Social Anxiety Disorder For those who receive treatment and are able to find the right supportive partner, a healthy and fulfilling relationship is not at all out of the question.?? Tips to Lessen Dating Anxiety If youre anxious about dating, keep these tips in mind:Talk about whats important to you. While this is probably the last thing you want to do, true intimacy is based on knowing and understanding each other. You cant have it without sharing. This doesnt mean you need to spend the entire conversation giving your life history, but consider telling your date about something or someone important to you or what you really think about your food.Focus on the present.  Think about what youre doing or what youre eating and how you feel in the moment. Dont worry about the past or the future, try to enjoy and embrace the right now.Give yourself room to be who you are.  You are a valuable person with your own unique insights, experiences, and personality. Learn to embrace that, to love who you are and what you have to offer someone in a relationship.Assume the best.  Dont jump to conclusions about what your date might be thinking about you. Anxiety can get the best of us when we make assumptions about what others think or feel, but assuming is not only unfair to you, its unfair to the other person. As soon as you hear that tape in your head telling you hes not into you or she thinks youre nuts, push it away and replace it with positive thoughts like, Im having a good time, This food is delicious, or Our conversation is going well. Replacing negative thoughts with positive ones is something you can work on beforehand as well.